Monday, April 6, 2009
Starting Marriage Mondays! 7 Steps to Rescue Romance
I told you in one of my blogs last week that I had some plans for the webpage after I came off vacation. This is the first of these ideas. One of the goals I stated coming into 2009 was that I not only wanted to work to improve my marriage, but to put some of these tips up to help you as well. These tips are sometimes biblical and sometimes common sense. Today’s tips are of the common sense variety.
The video above is from the testimony of an artist I’ve grown to respect. I’ve always loved his music from the first time I heard “What Held You On the Cross”, but Michael O Brien’s sharing of he and his wife’s marriage has had an impact. This video is from the Billy Graham Crusade and is from Michael’s You Tube page.
The tips below are Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance, originally seen on the Dr. Phil show, but requoted in the Spring edition of Marriage magazine. Here is the article.
Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance
Try one every day of the week, focus on one at a time, do whatever you like with them- but do take them all to heart.
1. Find Out What You Want: Are you meeting your partner’s needs? Are your needs being met? What are they? After you know your partner’s needs, if you find yourselves still frustrated, realize that it’s not that you can’t meet your partner’s needs, it’s that you won’t. Think about why you haven’t yet.
2. Respect Your Partner: It shouldn’t matter why your partner needs what they need. Consider Dr. Phil’s example: If one of your kids got up in the middle of the night and said, “I’m thirsty,” would you just turn around and say, “Well, I’m not, so go back to bed”? The key is to appreciate your partner’s individuality. Don’t expect your partner to react exactly as you would; your partner isn’t you.
3, What Message Do You Send?: Think about the message you are sending your partner when you don’t acknowledge their wants. How does this make your partner feel? How would it make you feel?
4. Compromise: Know that you can fulfill your partner’s wants. But by prioritizing your needs alone, you’re making the conscious decision not to fulfill your honey’s wants. Try talking about both of your needs and wants. Find the middle ground.
5. Don’t Forget Romance: Keep in mind that romance is an important element of marriage. Your partner might consider romance as the true measure of their value to your relationship. Be thoughtful and try doing something sweet for no apparent reason.
6. Remember the 4-minute rule: You can predict the rest of the night based on the first four minutes, so make those minutes count! Bring flowers. Greet each other with a compliment. Ask questions about your partner’s day. Smile; it’ll make a difference.
7. Open up: Be communicative and expressive with your partner. Remember, sharing emotions is not weakness; it makes you whole.
Now I do realize the advice was for husbands only, but wives can also follow this advice. So I’ll close asking all of you for your advice on what are your steps to rescue the romance. Leave the comments and let’s make our marriages better together.
Marriage will be the topic of the day each and every Monday here on One Man Revival. So if you have words of wisdom, send them along to my email, firstname.lastname@example.org or just post them here.
I love you guys, but I love my wife more!