Monday, May 25, 2009
Marriage Mondays: Sex Before Six or Any Old Time + an Announcement
It’s a Memorial Day holiday and time for another Marriage Mondays. Today, I want to share a story and see what you guys can add.
As you faithful readers know, my family and I took the weekend and went home to West Virginia for me to see friends for the first time in five years. We had a great Saturday in the park and an equally fun Saturday night with some other friends at a local hangout.
A few of my friends have been reading and realized that I have been giving practical and encouraging insight on how to build better marriages and better worlds. One of my friends was particularly happy to see me because of my ability to be able to write. He gave me a proposition. He wanted me to help him write a book for married couples that would make the world a better place.
I suppose I have to give you the name of the book before the premise because the title sets it up. The book is to be called Sex Before Six. My friend added that we’re not talking about before six years old, before six in the morning, as if I actually thought that six years old getting it on might be a good idea. The premise is this. If we could show all the good things that come out of morning sex that make the world a better place, it could be a best seller. Let me give you an example or two.
First, let’s think about all the medical improvements. Blood pressures would lower because sex has shown in other studies that it lowers blood pressure. The same for insulin levels of diabetics. Proving that morning sex is good health makes for happier couples because they’ll live longer.
Second, think of all the stress relief. No one that had morning sex would be in a bad mood afterwards. Morning sex is as good at getting people to relax as marijuana and it’s not illegal.
Finally, couples that have good morning sex never stay mad at each other. I might have to hire out the Barna Group to prove all theories.
OK, let’s get serious. How many friends have told you over the years that sex answers all the troubles of marriage, Christian and non-Christian? Our church is doing a two-part series on sex the way God intended, between married couples. However, I would find it awfully hard to hear that good morning sex makes all marriages complete.
Any of us that have been married for a length of time know that no matter how good God ordained sex is, it is not the end all. Sex is the part that brings intimacy to the next level. It is not the answer. Now, I’ll give you the verses chosen for today. I thought they related best from The Message. Let’s look at God’s Word in 1 Corinthians chapter six.
1Co 6:12 Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims.
1Co 6:13 You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
1Co 6:14 God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power.
1Co 6:15 Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.
1Co 6:16 There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one."
1Co 6:17 Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever--the kind of sex that can never "become one."
1Co 6:18 There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another.
1Co 6:19 Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.
1Co 6:20 God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
I took verses 12-15 to show you that there was more to this conversation from Paul. In this chapter, Paul is talking about how the Corinthians are suing each other and how that disgraces God. I’ll start in verse 16.
Verse 16 tells us some very important things. Sex is more than the act. I could be having physical sex 24 hours a day, however sex is to be more than that. He even says that there is a spiritual bonding of the two persons involved in the act. He even drives the point home to Christians that we’re trying to become one with God and that the sex we have is to help the two become one.
Verse 18 talks about how sexual sins vary from others. Sexual sins violate us. Even though you may not think so, when you are not having that time with your marriage partner, you are not modeling God’s intimacy intended for the two of you.
Paul even talks about times to take breaks from sex in the same book of Corinthians in the next chapter in verse five. It should be agreed upon and only for prayer and fasting, then to come back together again. So God doesn’t want you to take long periods of time between having that bonding together as a married couple. I see you ladies shaking your heads at me asking, “Frank, if I asked my husband how often he wanted sex it would be more often. There’s stuff to do. How do we make time?”
I’ve asked that question myself, many, many times. When you have kids, try to make an honorable living and be pleasing to your spouse and to God, that’s a full day. I couldn’t agree more. But there is something that God understood with these verses above that tell us the spiritual bond is not being kept with a lack of sex. To say that I have more of an answer than God is showing us that we need sex for more of a bond between man and wife, I have none. The next question you have is “Well, might that lead to more kids?”
Possibly, but I always say that God has a plan of how many we can handle. God hands teachers children to teach at schools. Notice school doesn’t last more than seven or eight hours because teachers, as good as they are, probably couldn’t take them any longer. School districts even limit how many they can have in a class. Sure, most of them get a little lenient, but realize that God knows our limits much better than a school board and he will not put on us more than we can handle.
I think verse 20 explains it best. God owns the whole works. Laugh if you must, but it’s true. The last part of that verse does not imply letting people see your sex either. The only reason I mention this is because someone tried to argue with me that it does mean that. Paul is trying to tell us to let people see God in what you do and how you treat others, closing up the issue of suing people.
Finally, I’ll ask for your participation. What I’d really like to hear about is this: What are some of the things that you’ve been given advice on that might have sounded strange or just were that have actually worked for you or something totally off the wall that you know was not voiced in the way God intended.
To end this piece, I do also have a couple of announcements for the webpage. First and foremost, One Man Revival Ministries has opened a fan page on Facebook. It has discussion boards, access to each blog and info on things that are going on. Also, the other part of the announcement is with this page, I am posting daily prayer requests for you to ponder.
With that, we are ending Prayerfully Minded Fridays. Prayer has become a vital part of our ministry that needs more attention than once a week. Doing the prayer requests on the Facebook fan page serves two purposes. One, you’ll know exactly where to look for the prayer requests. They will be on the main wall page each morning sometime between 7:30-9:00 am CDT. Secondly, it will be a polite reminder to all of us (including myself) that there is a need to pray. All of us need to pray and pray more often.
We are also taking suggestions on the Facebook fan page for new ideas for the overall website production and topics that may enrich all that are reading the blogs. I hope these changes are helpful to you and if these things are needed in the other communities that we reach that you can give me ideas on how to do that.
As always, thanks for reading One Man Revival and for your support of what I do each day here at the website.
I love you guys!