Monday, May 4, 2009

Marriage Mondays: Time Is...So Precious

How does a weekend with God go so wrong, so quickly? We come home. Satan truly tries to smash us after we find a mountain top with God. Less than 24 hours after having a great time of worship and communication with our loving God at Agapefest, I came home to the reality of life. Right after a powerful church service on Sunday morning, I was met with orders. Mow the grass, put toys together, let me take a nap and you take care of the kids for a while, do laundry and finally, the dreaded let’s vacuum and sweep the floors a couple times.

Has this ever happened to you? We really should see it coming. Why? Satan tends to attack us through those that love us most. Yes, all those things needed done, but did they need done right after church. Could they have waited until after eating and maybe resting a little bit as a family?

One of my greatest gripes that I have with my wife is this. Why is there a need to push so much so quickly? We have time. Time is something we don’t run out of until Jesus takes us home. Time ain’t money. Sometimes we, and I think it goes both ways, get a Burger King mood after a McDonald’s breakfast. We want things done our way in our time (usually both end in the word NOW!).

What makes it worse is that when we don’t get our way, we tend to insult the idea that the other spouse has just had a great time. We say that we’re not trying to say that we stayed behind to handle things and now expect you to do the same, but we do expect the same. You got time, I want time. Why does that never work with money? Never mind, that’s another blog.

So here is my encouragement for the day. How do we get out of those attitudes after one spouse has fun without the other? Here are some helpful hints.

1. Thank the other spouse for getting the time out. Oh yeah, and mean it. Even go as far as to say that in a perfect world, we might have actually gotten a chance to do that time together. As the kids get older, reassure them that those days are coming.

2. Be supportive of that time. For the spouse that didn’t get to go, let the one that did talk some about how great a time it was. We want our spouses to have fun and then tend to gripe when they do.

3. For the spouse that had the chance to do whatever, do pitch in a little more that first day or hour back. The one that stayed home has busted the hump while you’ve been gone. Nothing shows appreciation like stepping up without complaining.

4. Dream together. As I said in #1, those days are coming. Dream out loud with your spouse about the fun stuff that you can do eventually. It’s nice to dream about times that are together and meaningful.

5. Don’t keep a scoreboard. You got to this and I didn’t get to do that. Not only does that lead to resentment, it also can attempt to justify absolute absurdity later on. You got all this, now I’m taking our savings to Vegas to stimulate the economy. OK honey, enjoy that $50.

6. Finally, try to make time every day for a time to step aside. Don’t count work breaks and lunches in the equation. Use this time to ask God how to bless your spouse today. Often, you’ll do even better because God will give you the ideas.

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