Monday, June 15, 2009
Marriage Monday: Date nights can teach
It’s already the middle of June and we’re almost through half of another year. On July 1, we start the second half of the year with The Bible in 90 Days blog/Bible study series. Yes, you can join the journey. You can buy the NIV Bible that goes along with us or use your own Bible. I’ve made a chart on the accompanying website that is only found on Blogger (http://omr90daysthroughthebible.blogspot.com) I’ll still be doing regular blogs here, but The Bible in 90 Days stuff will be there.
Life has been good here at the Jenkins’ household lately and Saturday night was another reason. After going through a marriage class at our church, one thing we were encouraged to start and have done better with is an idea called Date Night for married couples. This past Saturday night, we got a babysitter and headed to Marion, Illinois. I learned a few things from the date.
The first thing is that we need more date nights. Sure, we had plenty of time in the car. But we had a chance to regroup ideas that I thought were long dead. It was also good to sit down at a meal, have time to eat it and just chat with my wife. And it wasn’t all about the kids. The concert we went to was great, but the talk was the highlight of the night. It gave me insight to the two other things that needed tweaking in our marriage.
My wife is taking a class and I have been working real hard on improving the website and that led to more time that we were individually with the kids. It is hard enough to raise kids together, but it gets harder when both are missing more than the average working hours. She was out two nights a week and I was out two other nights a week (between writing and ministry), so collectively we weren’t working together very much.
I actually have had older men give me an attitude because I help so much with my family. Guys, it’s hard to give up the ideas of the time before the sixties where a man came home from work and just grabbed his paper, sat on the couch and waited for dinner and whatever else the wife was supposed to do. But those days are over. Every once in a while, as guys we think, “Hey, we’re entitled to a day off!” I think we are, but it also goes for the ladies of this generation. They work as hard or harder than we do.
So with her class ending and me needing only one night a week the rest of the summer, life is returning to normal and we got to talk about a new plan for both of us. So getting focused on the kids and on nightly time for each other to just talk about how it’s going help.
The last thing is something that I really don’t think about. It’s not a machismo thing, but I tend to pray alone. I just always have. We talked about how important it is becoming to pray together to line our hopes and dreams up. Most of the time when she hears me talk, it is about the website and when she talks, it is about her work, but we’ve stopped dreaming together. When we don’t pray with our spouses about the needs, hopes and desires, we lose our number one prayer partner. It’s great to pray with our buddies, but it’s even better to pray with a spouse that is sharing the dream.
So couples, I recommend a date night. It will give you time away from other distractions to talk to the person you committed to at the altar however long ago to tweak things and make your marriage a happier, more open place to be.
I love you guys!