Monday, June 8, 2009

Marriage Monday: A totally non-scripture based list

Hey gang!

Another weekend has come and gone and that makes two more weekends until Father’s Day (June 21 this year). Last year, my church’s senior pastor spoke a great Father’s Day message. The aspect I’ll talk about today is a man’s need to disconnect.

Don’t take me wrong. Men still need to step up and be responsible, but there are times that a man needs to do his thing. For the past few weeks, I’ve been speaking about how women have needs. Well ladies, this is a need that a guy has.

I don’t think either spouse should be tied to the house. I think the ladies need to get out too. But I will also be honest. Over the last couple generations, men are getting used to the idea of doing more around the house. They are being more helpful. If you look back to the 1950’s and before, when a man came home, he did two things. He sat down and then he propped up his feet to read the paper and/or watch the television. Most men don’t even get to sit down when they come through the doors nowadays.

So ladies, to make your man’s Father’s Day a little nicer, and maybe a few more days through the year, uncle Frank is gonna give you a few tips on how to make your man happier.

1. Does your man have a hobby? Maybe it’s stamp collecting or woodworking. Maybe it is going to the donut shop in the morning hours to talk to the boys. If it’s not against the precepts of God and it isn’t totally breaking down the house, let him have some time to do these things. Sure, not every available minute, but give him some time.

2. Does he like to watch ESPN Sportscenter or some other show without interruption? Can the chores wait a half hour? Then please let them. Ralphie May describes men being happy during these times. He calls it “tard happy”. Men get the goofy look and just want to sit there and let loose for a few minutes. The only way it can get better is if they are on the couch and you sit down and just snuggle with him and watch. Just watch. He may get suspicious at first, but after a while, he will just hold you in love because he’s allowed to relax.

3. Buy him a gift. I know this sounds obvious, but I want to add a few pretexts here. First, nothing says that you didn’t think of him like a Wal-Mart gift certificate. Ladies, in this economy crunch, men think practically. We’ll end up buying groceries or diapers or something for the family and that will feel like no gift at all. If you must buy a gift card, buy it for a place he likes. If he fishes or hunts, get him a bass pro shop card or that Gander Mountain place. If he likes sports, get him an MLB or card. But better yet, figure out what he likes and get him something cool.

4. Some guys will swear I’ve gone to the other side, but some men like to get flowers. Ladies, we know this is one of your gifts of choice, but we like the smell because it reminds us of you. Sweet, loving and sexy.

5. Make a date and let the babysitter watch the kids. Ladies, the real truth is, especially those of us that have kids, we want to spend time with you like we used to. We totally realize that both of us are busier because we have ball games, dance class and the chess club to go to. On top of that, there are clothes to be washed, trash to be thrown out and dinner to be made. We miss just you. Take us to dinner so that we can look into those eyes we fell in love with. Please no McDonald’s. Do us good like TGI Fridays or Lonestar or Cheesecake Factory! You get the idea. One rule, discussing the kids for more than 10 minutes means you have to do it again.

I know today’s Marriage Monday had nothing of scripture to it, but sometimes we need common sense. Spouses, we love you and we want more time to be the individuals we’ve always been. Yes, we love the kids, the dogs and even the parents, but we love you and we love us. Be good to each other!

I love you guys!

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